After that dream last night, I have decided that I won’t let any guy in the way of our relationship. I woke up sprawled across the bed, sweating, my hair tangled in knots, and tears in my eyes. It was really sad. I just can’t lose him again. Not like that.
I walked into the lunch room, and there he was. Flirting with about 4 other girls sitting around him. I said, “what are you doing?” He replied with, “just what you do everyday, babe. I’m not going to stop. I don’t love you any more.” I ran out of the cafeteria and into the girl’s bathroom where I spent the rest of the day crying.
The bus ride home was awful. I didn’t sit with anyone, I didn’t talk to anyone, I didn’t look at anyone. I just stuck to the edge of the seat next to the window and let my tears fall.
When I got home, I came to the realization that he didn’t love me after all. And of course, I cried. A lot.
I texted him saying, “I don’t know what made you stop loving me. We were so happy. Were you jealous? Do you just not feel the same way any more? I think we should try and figure it out.”
A couple exhausting hours later, my phone goes off. I slowly unlocked my phone and went to my messages, and my hands were shaky.
“I think it would be better if we break up. We can still be friends..? No, never mind, we should stop talking altogether. K bye, I guess.”
I broke down and slowly got on my knees, still shaking. I throw my face in my hands, completely ruining my makeup. Hesitantly, I go to the kitchen and sit on the counter, staring at the knife holder across from me. It felt so far away, yet so close. I knew what I had to do.
I grab the handle of the sharpest knife and twist my hand to grip it better. I pulled it out of the wooden holder, my hands still shaking. I hold it with both hands and bow my head down for the last time. And I pray. For the first time in a long time, I pray.
“God, I am sorry for taking my life. I just can’t live without him. He completes me, and he is my other half. Why did you do this to me?” I look up to the sky, and lift the knife, aiming at my chest.
That’s how my dream ended, and then I woke up.
I’m never gonna get over that dream.